Leah Kilner's fighting recovery

By Jordan Gerrans

Siobhan Jackson calls it her daughter's breakthrough. The turning point in her recovery.

For most, a day at the races is as commonplace as it gets in everyday life.

For recovering apprentice jockey Leah Kilner, it was the jolt of energy she needed to attack her rehabilitation.

The 24-year-old was almost killed in a serious race fall at Grafton in early July and spent a lengthy period in a coma.

When the talented youngster was eventually brought out of her coma, and for weeks later, she felt like she was in a dream and nothing was real.

Kilner did not quite understand what occurred on that afternoon at Grafton and exactly what was happening.  

Why did she go to work one day and then weeks later wake up in a brain unit?

Kilner did not comprehend it all and therefore did not take her rehabilitation seriously, not grasping what a difficult road was ahead of her.

That was until she went back to the races for the first time since the terrible fall.

Despite her family's urgings, Kilner was not taking no for an answer, she was going to Doomben on that Saturday afternoon in early August.

Kilner rubbed shoulders with the jockeys she has ridden against for years, she embraced smiling faces that she would see multiple times a week and in some way, she got back to a slice of stability.

“We were worried, we thought it would be a bit too much for her,” Jackson says.

“But, Leah’s stubbornness kicked in. It turned out to be the best day she has had so far.

“The normality, seeing people and horses she loves, and just in a perfect environment for her, it has really turned things around for her.

“It is hard to explain but the change in her has been huge, we can feel it since that day at the races.”

Kilner reflects on the day as the greatest thing that has happened to her since the fall.

“It was my turning and breakthrough point,” she says.

Almost two months on from the fall at Grafton, the daughter of trainer Greg Kilner is going full steam ahead with her rehabilitation in what is set to be a lengthy process.

Jackson has noticed a happier Kilner during her rehab, more willing to do the required work.

Despite coming out of the coma and slowly improving as time went on, Kilner admits that her attitude got in the way of her rehab efforts in the early stages.

Kilner was suffering from post-traumatic amnesia.

“A few weeks ago, I thought I was in a dream,” she remembers.

“I did not think anything was real, I would go to these classes and do it for three minutes and want to leave.

“I thought it was a dream and thought I could get away with that.

“Once I realised this was real and this was actually happening after going to the races, I started to take things more seriously and getting work done.

“Everyone keeps saying how far I have come and I am starting to believe.”

With her mum and dog Chanel beside her, Kilner is between the brain injury rehabilitation unit of a hospital as well as her Eagle Farm apartment these days.

The recovering jockey’s rehabilitation focuses in on physiotherapy as well as occupational therapy and speech pathology.

Physio is the hardest but her favourite – Kilner says – as the class got her up and made her mobile, giving her the opportunity to improve her balance and walking.  

The speech pathology gets her ready for the outside world when she is ready to return on a full-time basis.

The rehab classes start first thing in the morning and can stretch deep into the afternoon.

Kilner has been aided by close friend and fellow hoop Stephanie Thornton in some of her rehab efforts.

“They are hard classes and they take a lot to concentrate but they are all things to get your brain working and thinking,” Kilner said.

“It is about healing. You sit there sometimes and wonder why you are doing these things, but once you realise, it clicks for you.”

Jackson has seen her daughter come along in leaps and bounds following the afternoon at the track.

“Some days she is stubborn, that is the best way to describe Leah, but I have found that if she puts her mind to it, she can conquer anything,” Jackson said.

“She is not afraid of hard work and she has always worked hard, putting 150 per cent into everything and she knows she has to do that now.

“She is doing it well and we are very proud of her.”

Kilner is still trying to piece it all together. As well as the coma, she has a busted knee and collarbone.

Her eye sight has been severely impacted, as well. 

What has happened to her over the past seven weeks?

She watched the near-fatal race fall for the first time just last week.

Kilner thinks she needed to see it – regardless of how graphic it was – to give her some kind of clarity and closure.

One moment that stands out in her recovery is waking up on August 1 – which is of course the horses' birthday – and is almost a month to the day following her fall.

“I thought that cannot be right, where did July go?” Kilner remembers.

“I went to work one day and then I woke up in a brain unit, I just did not know why I was there.

“Everything was foggy and hazy and especially my eye sight, that does not help at all.

“Nothing felt real and I felt I was in a literal dream, thinking I could control everything and say what I want.”

The Kilner family have been blown away by the support they received – not just from the racing fraternity – but from people of all walks of life, from the Sunshine State all the way down to their native Northern NSW.

Kilner's father Greg is on hand in Brisbane as often as he can be, while also tending to his gallopers at Grafton, as is best mate Bianca Grob, as well as other close friends, including in-form rider Tegan Harrison.

Jackson has hardly left her daughter's side since the tumble at Grafton occurred.

“I do not know where I would be without my mum,” Kilner said.

“I know there has been times where I have been at the hospital and I have told nurses not to do stuff because my mum is an aged care nurse and she was going to do the work.

“I had no filter.

“Having my family behind me and supporting me, it has been massive as not everyone has that.”

While Kilner will put on a brave face on social media or when the cameras are on, she concedes it has been a battle of a life-time.

She hopes those days are behind her.

“I am not going to deny it, I have had my times when I have been down, anxious and depressed,” she said.

“You do wonder about what kind of bad karma I had and question why it happened to me.

“But, at the same time, you have to look forward to the future.

“I can now look forward to getting out of the hospital and getting weekend leave, which gives me normality.”

The family are not exactly sure when Kilner will be released from hospital but she is set to have on-going support from nurses and staff when she does return home on a permanent basis.